How To Choose Your Perfect Wedding Venue

Happy Sunday, everyone! I hope you’re having a great weekend, and that you enjoyed my last post about the six beautiful wedding venues Tania and I toured as we decided where to host our special day. ICYMI: we ended up booking the stunning Honsberger Estate Winery in the Niagara region! Here are some photos of the venue, starting with the ceremony site…

The garden and vineyards…

And the beautiful reception barn.

Not only are we beyond excited to tie the knot here in 2025; we’re also relieved to have such an important decision nailed down! As I mentioned in my last post, choosing a wedding venue is a huge undertaking and it can feel a little overwhelming. That’s why I wanted to share everything I’ve learned along the way! Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips for choosing a venue – along with a list of important questions to ask each contender – that I hope will be helpful for my fellow brides (and grooms!) to be. So without further ado, here’s my best advice when it comes to choosing your dream wedding venue. First things first…

Start with a clear vision of what you want. There are so many wedding venues that narrowing it down can feel nearly impossible. (Seriously, guys… SO. MANY.) If you don’t have a clear idea of what you want in a venue, it’s going to get overwhelming real fast. So start by asking yourself… do you want indoors or outdoors? Small and intimate, or grand and lively? Rustic casual or formal glam? Narrow down your vision before researching venues, and your shortlist will be a lot, well… shorter. (That’s a good thing!)

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Luckily, Tania and I had pretty similar visions when it came to venues. We both wanted a wedding that took place (at least partially) outdoors. And we knew we wanted something that felt rustic and casual, yet elegant and special. But we didn’t agree on absolutely everything. For instance, I was open to a tented outdoor wedding, but Tania wasn’t. Then there was a farm venue she really liked, but it was too casual for my liking. Communication and compromise is key in any aspect of a relationship, and that holds true for wedding planning too! Make sure you’re listening to each other’s “what” and “why”, taking the time to see things from the other’s point of view, and doing enough give and take on both ends so that each person ends up happy.

Decide how much work you want to put in. Some venues are more or less a blank slate: you pay to rent the space, and you supply everything else. This typically means sourcing everything from your own tables, chairs, lighting and decor to hiring external caterers and bartenders, purchasing licenses and insurance, etc. There are definitely pros to this: not only is it cheaper, but you pretty much get full creative control. If you want a wedding that’s truly one-of-a-kind, going this route lets you customize it down to every last detail. Of course, the flip side is that it’s a ton more work! Both Tania and I are realistic about the fact that we have busy full-time jobs and packed personal lives, and we simply don’t have the bandwidth to become full-time wedding planners for the next year-and-a-half. We agreed that – while of course we want to personalize certain aspects of our wedding – we wanted more of a turn-key experience. That’s why it was important to us to find a venue that provided essentials like furniture, catering and staff.

Make friends with Excel! Once we’d made a list of venues we liked and requested their brochures, I (the self-appointed spreadsheet queen) organized them all in a huge Excel sheet, with columns for comparing important details like cost, capacity, location, available dates, inclusions and exclusions. Everyone processes information differently so you may find a different method works better for you, but personally, I found the columns so helpful! They made it easy to compare everything line by line.

When it comes to cost, make sure you’re comparing apples to apples. Every venue has a different pricing structure. Some have one all-inclusive per-plate fee that covers everything. Others charge lower per-plate fees, but charge a flat-rate venue fee on top. Some venues charge an extra ‘ceremony fee’ if you want to hold your ceremony on site, or charge an additional fee if your guest count is under a certain number. Some venues offer discounted pricing for kids, while other venues don’t. Make sure you read the fine print!

Look very carefully at what’s included and excluded. We were shocked to find that some venues charged extra for things we assumed would be included in the price, such as bridal suite rentals, access to the property for day-of photos, and even guest parking. We looked at a lot of winery venues, and one thing that really surprised us is that the vast majority of them don’t include wine in their bar packages. (It makes sense when you think about it, because they want you to select specific wines and purchase the bottles individually… but on first glance, it sure seemed counterintuitive!) Looking at what’s included is just as important. Some venues throw in things you’d normally book separately, such as DJs, officiants, guest favours, or even wedding cakes (shoutout to Vieni Estates for that!) Before writing off a venue for being over budget, consider what you’d be saving in other areas. After considering every angle, we realized that some venues we’d initially deemed too expensive were more affordable than we thought, and others we’d thought were a great deal… well, weren’t! It can be really hard to determine an accurate estimate, so when in doubt, ask the venue for an itemized quote. And if you really love a place but it’s on the pricier side, don’t be afraid to ask the venue how they can work within your budget. We were pleasantly surprised by how many venues were happy to work within different budgets, and suggested certain concessions we could make to lower our costs.

Look up photos of real weddings held at the venues. When we had trouble narrowing down our shortlist, this is something that really helped! We’re lucky to live in an age where so much is available online. Peruse local wedding photography sites: many photographers have blogs where they’ll share highlights from an entire wedding day, from getting-ready shots to late-night dancing. Or check out the venue’s location tag on Instagram! Every venue’s brochure will make them look like the greatest venue in the world, so looking at real weddings hosted there can provide valuable perspective. Added bonus: this is also helpful for getting venue-specific decor inspiration, as well as sourcing vendors. It’s always great to hire a photographer or florist who has worked with your venue before and knows the drill!

Decide on a few venues to tour – but not too many! When making your shortlist of the venues you want to see in person, err on the ‘less is more’ side. Funnily enough, we got this piece of advice from several married friends of ours, and after touring a few venues, I could see what they meant! While it’s important to have an idea of what’s out there, seeing too many can just make the decision overwhelming. We toured six, but I’d say five – give or take – is the magic number.

Insist on an in-person tour. Today, many venues offer virtual/video tours in lieu of in-person ones. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. After all, COVID turned our world into one where so many things – from job interviews to doctor’s appointments – can be done virtually. But after touring venues in person, I realized how critical it is not to rely on a virtual tour alone. Some of the venues gave me a completely different vibe in person than I’d expected based on photos and videos. Call me old-fashioned, but I would never book a venue without seeing it in person. You’re going to be spending a huge amount of money on it, so you’d better make sure it walks the walk! And on that note, consider seasonality when booking tours. If you’re planning an outdoor summer wedding, you probably won’t get the best sense of the space if you tour it in January. We’re getting married in June and toured our venue in November, so it wasn’t totally ideal, but it was still warm(ish) and green(ish) when we went; at least enough to get a decent feel for the outdoor space. And of course, it helped that we’d been there in the summer as winery/restaurant guests before.

Come with lots of questions! I had an embarrassingly long list of questions that I brought along on each venue tour. Of course, you’ll have your own questions based on what’s important to you and your partner, but here are some important ones anyone should ask…

  • Which dates are available, and what does the reservation process look like?
  • How much is the deposit, and what’s the payment schedule?
  • What’s the venue’s capacity? Is there a minimum guest count? (This is a good one to ask in person! A venue might have an official capacity of 150 listed in their brochure, but when you ask them in person, they’ll tell you that it’s really better suited to 130 before it starts feeling crowded.)
  • Can you work within our budget? Is there anything we can reduce or exclude to help lower costs?
  • What’s included in the cost? (Be sure to ask about things like ceremonies, rehearsals, bridal suites, tables and chairs, linens, tableware, appetizers, desserts, etc.)
  • Is there anything not included – that typically might be – that we should be aware of?
  • How long is bar service? What does it include?
  • Are there any restrictions on the type of decor we can bring in?
  • How early will we have access to the venue on the day of? When are we expected to wrap up?
  • Will there be an event coordinator on-site the day of the wedding? What’s their role and how involved will they be?
  • (For outdoor venues): What’s the backup plan in case of inclement weather?
  • How many washrooms are there? What about parking spots? (This is an easy one to overlook, but you want to make sure the venue can accommodate all your guests.)

Make sure you love the venue, rain or shine. If you’re planning an outdoor wedding, of course you’re hoping for blue skies and sunshine on your special day. But the reality is that doesn’t always happen, so it’s important to ask the venue about their Plan B. One of the reasons we love Honsberger is that it has the best of both worlds: their outdoor and indoor spaces are equally beautiful, so even if it rains and we have to do our ceremony indoors, it’ll be gorgeous either way. Make sure you feel the same way about your venue! Ideally, Plan B should feel just as good to you as Plan A, so you won’t feel like you’re settling in case the weather doesn’t cooperate.

Get a vibe check on the event coordinator. Are they professional, kind and helpful? You’re going to be working closely with this person as you plan your wedding, so make sure you feel confident in their capabilities! You can even get a sense of this before you tour the venue, just by seeing if they respond promptly and professionally to emails. One of the things that sold us on Honsberger was the energy and enthusiasm of their event coordinator, Amelia. Unlike some other coordinators who seemed pretty hands-off, Amelia assured us she’d be right in there setting up flowers, arranging place cards, and helping with whatever we needed.

Take detailed notes – and lots of photos – during the tour. You may think you’ll remember everything about each venue, but trust me: you probably won’t. Especially if you do what we did, and tour multiple venues on the same day!

Make an honest pros and cons list. At the end of the day, no venue is perfect: every single venue we toured had some sort of “con”. The key is being honest with yourselves and deciding what’s most important to you, and what you can live without. I’m a very visual person, so when I have a tough time making a decision, a pros and cons list really helps me get a better grasp on things!

At the end of the day… trust your gut. When it came down to making a final decision, Tania and I were stuck between two venues, both amazing in their own ways. But somehow, we always kept coming back to Honsberger, and we simply knew. One thing that holds true in both love and wedding planning: the heart wants what it wants! So listen to it 🙂

Well folks, I think that’s about all the advice I have to offer! If you’re planning your own wedding and feeling just as overwhelmed as I was (okay, am!) then I hope this post has been helpful. If you have any questions at all – whether about any of the venues we toured, or wedding planning in general – you can always send me an email. I’m no expert, but I’d be more than happy to provide advice or guidance wherever I can. Planning a wedding is definitely a learning curve, and I’m learning new things all the time. I look forward to sharing more of these learnings on the blog over the next year-and-a-half, and I hope you’ll continue to follow along with me as I do so!

As always, thank you for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful week ahead.

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Exploring the best of Toronto and Southern Ontario.

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading